Me: What? I'm here!
People: Seriously? You were supposed to be here three hours ago. The movie's already done.
Me: But we could go to another one! Or ... we could just sit around and glare.*
|I may use this expression a lot.|
Okay, it's not actually that bad, although now most of my friends are like, "Oh, we can just start. She'll be here whenever." And even sometimes, they do have to call me to make sure that I wasn't distracted by whatever mental shiny that might have crossed my path.
And it just gets worse when I'm focused on something, be that Sims 3, writing, or taking a "quick thirty minute nap," from which I awake seven hours later in the middle of the night with no way in hell of getting back to sleep. It doesn't even help to have a clock of any kind** because I forget the numbers that were there before and hope that I haven't gone over my time limit.
What is bizarre is that, in some other areas of my life, I am almost hyper-in tune with time management. When I was at DHS, I knew the exact date of three Fridays from now, how many hours I had left until a certain deadline, could schedule my day down to the second so I could get all of the necessary tasks done, etc. I was not Me at work, though; I was some sort of weird automaton that ceased to exist when I exited the front doors of that accursed building. Ever since quitting, I've tried to channel that aspect of myself to get shit other than "write all day, wheeee!" done. It's been hard. No, nigh impossible.
But this has actually shown me something about myself: I cannot function as a time-conscious Meticulaton (TM) at the same time that I'm in a creative frame of mind. I just can't. I also can't be in one state for too long, since I burn out, sometimes more quickly than others. So I did some experimentation over the past few days, which served as kind of a mini-vacation. Three was also on an annoying schedule of three 12-hour shifts in a row, so I didn't really have him as a time meter, which was kind of how I'd been operating since I quit DHS. Now, as I have discovered, it turns out that I am very effective when I am in one or the other mindset. I do prefer the right brainy, imaginative side a bit more than the left brainy, by-the-book side, although I've discovered that I am very good at cleaning and frugal interior design. Shocking, I know, to my family members who claim I know not of such things.
|Humberto, the newest low-budget decoration: a elephant piggy bank, bought from Goodwill for like $1. She has a certain charm, yes? Just say she does, and we can all walk away happy.|
On Three's first day of his three-day stretch, I stayed awake all night and rearranged our living/bedroom***. What? I had to stay occupied somehow.
Now, the official story behind this is that Comcast gave us a deal on our internet/cable package sometime last week, although they didn't really explain it very well. Three was called by one of their representatives, who told him that they'd upgraded our internet speed for free (thanks?), and then two days later, we got a cable box. Both of us were confused and also annoyed, since we didn't ask for cable, but when Three called to straighten things out, we were told that the price was the same but that we now also had cable (again, thanks?). If we chose to keep just the internet, we'd still pay the full price, which still kind of baffles me but at the same time is kind of a good business move. But anyway, our coaxial cable didn't go all the way to our TV (the router and internet box thingy was under our bed), so I realized that, in order to hook up the new cable box, I'd have to move all the furniture. It took about three hours, but at the end of that three hours, the living area actually looked better than it did before (again, thanks, Comcast?). But then I had one coaxial cable and two boxes and I was just all, "Whatever, guys, Imma go draw something."
|And I did it without the mustache. How badass am I?|
And you know what? I got on a roll. None of it is anything I want to show anyone, but I made some definite progress in character sketches. Another interesting aspect of this whole thing was that, while I definitely was aware of how much time had passed during the Epic Rearranging of 2012, I was even less aware of how much time had passed when I was drawing - more than normal. Three came home and I was simultaneously thrilled that he was there, baffled that he was home early, and then sheepish that I hadn't realized that I'd been in Jujuheadland for nearly eight hours straight.
I guess it's never too late to learn more about how you operate, right? And it's kind of cool to think that one part of the brain uses certain outside sensory**** information while the other just about refuses to acknowledge its existence. Or maybe it can't or just doesn't realize what it's missing. Apparently, humans know pretty much nothing about the brain; we can't even really explain what headaches are. And that doesn't even touch the concept of how our brain actually perceives things and ... I'm going to have to stop before I start referencing state vector collapse and Dr. Michio Kaku, who I really believe may just be the most awesome person alive.
|Neo only wishes he were this cool. Look, he doesn't even have to look at the water to make it float in midair!|
What's great is that I now know how to optimize productivity, and I even enjoy doing the left brain activities while I'm doing them. I've always known that I have to be in the right mood to switch out of my very right brain mode, but I never really knew why or when my next bout of Extreme Cleaning was going to rear its head. And now I do. I call this a win/win.
Now, back to writing. I've made a few breakthroughs, which I'm actually going to be writing about here fairly soon. And that's totally not meant as an attempt to get you back here to boost the number of views for my blog.
* Much thanks to "Once More with Feeling," my second favorite episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." The first, of course, being "Restless," the season four finale.
** Especially this kind:
I mean, seriously?? How in the hell am I supposed to read that quickly? Or at all? I have to do the math in my head, and I'm a right brained person. Needless to say, this math-in-head thing rarely ends well. Just ask my sister about the "47" story.
*** We treat our one-bedroom apartment like a studio with a separate office.
**** If you can really sense time? Can you really? Other than by the seemingly mutually decided lengths of time that humans have created? Hmmm, deep thoughts.